John Adams really lived up to my expectations. I don’t have HBO at my house, but was able to catch a couple of the episodes in a hotel room a few months back while traveling for business. It was interesting to see John Adams, George Washington and Thomas Jefferson interact on screen, so I couldn’t wait to sit down and watch the entire series from beginning to end.

I don’t know just how historically accurate the series is, but I would guess that it’s pretty close. We know from our history books that there was a great debate in the Continental Congress about independence from Great Britain. We know who became the President’s and why. We know that during the Washington and Adams administrations, we were very seriously teetering on wars against England and France. But the spectacular way in which they told these stories was nothing less than fascinating.

My wife actually sat down and watched the series with me, which is something I thought she would fight me on. But she was also fascinated by the series and has grown a great respect for Abagail Adams as the woman behind the man. As have I.

If you are at all interested in actually seeing the founding of the greatest country in the history of this beautiful world, I highly recommend watching John Adams. It takes some time as the series is 7 episodes long and each episode is at least an hour a piece, but it is so worth it. It’s so fascinating and very entertaining.

If you are an avid history buff, you might feel let down. Obviously they have to cover a lot of time in the series as you see the ascent of John Adams and eventually his death, so a lot is left out as the years pass. But more than any other Revolutionary film I’ve seen, it does the absolute best at telling the story of our nations birth.

1. When there isn’t a Starbucks near by and American’s have to settle for Royal Cup, I swear to goodness it’s like watching a prison riot break out. American’s are so spoiled all the way down to their Double Shot Espresso’s® that they feel belittled if someone anywhere serves them something other than Starbucks. (BTW, I’m one of those spoiled Americans)
2. I was watching the Discovery Channel the other day and they were doing a special episode on the hunt for Bigfoot. Everyone that was interviewed was crying on the camera; “Oh, WHY oh WHY can’t we find big foot? GLOBAL WARMING is going to cause him to DIE and we need to save him before a giant plume of nuclear smoke engulfs his habitat and burns his hairy arms into a heaping pile of fruity-smelling flesh!” I swear, that’s what these people were saying. Whiners. I’m a total advocate of nuking Bigfoot and his children. Because he has like 14 kids. Someone told me that one time and I absolutely believe it.
3. I travel a lot in my line of work, so I get to see a variety of people from all over the country react to traffic situations and driving patterns and behaviors. EVERYWHERE I go, people are WHINING about the way I drive. I mean, really. ME! OK, so I guess whiners all over the country don’t appreciate my leisurely method of driving on the interstate. But you know what, I’m not about to pollute this planet more than it has to be polluted and so I will drive 35 miles per hour on any interstate I want to! Screw you and the Hummer you road in on buddy! Pal! This old nun FLEW past me one day and flipped me off. A NUN! A woman who is MARRIED TO JESUS! All because I don’t want to ruin my planet. You’d think that’s something Jesus would want us to do. Whiners.
4. Children. I mean, they freaking cry all the time. What do babies have to whine about? What, gassy stomach?? SCREW YOU! Ugh. Makes me sick.
5. Homeless people are CONSTANTLY whining. I disagree with this because I don’t have compassion for their plight. I appreciate the fact that they’re always looking to get their buzz on and everything, but sniffing all that spray paint? Not cool dude. Evidently that makes you whine a lot. Homeless people stink anyway. Eww.
6. White people are always whining!!! They’re always so compassionate about the little man. The brown man. The black man. The mestizo man. Blah Blah BLAH! Here’s a note to all the white people in the world: people who are different than you (as in different skin color or ethnicity) actually CAN function on their own without your help and proactive attempt to somehow look down on another’s culture in order to prop them up. For example; Michelle and Barack Obama. Both of them are black and both have risen from the cold, desolate Chicago streets to lead our nation into a socialist nuclear holocaustic hell! I mean, sheesh people!
7. Non-smokers. It’s a weird thing as a conservative person to hear other conservatives talk about smoking and smoking in private establishments. These conservatives I talk to are generally all about personal freedoms and rights, UNLESS it involves smoking. Evidently, every conservative has a mental asterisk when it comes to personal freedoms with tiny text at the bottom of their abdula oblongata which says “This unalienable right simply doesn’t apply to tobacco consumption“. Here’s a news flash to you conservative hacks who don’t think we should be allowed to smoke in PRIVATE business establishments: You’re A Whining Asshat!
8. Tony Stewart. I don’t know much about Nascar, but every time I see this guy on ESPN, he’s whining about something. “Ohh! Someone ran your car into a concrete wall going 2,765 miles per hour, Tony???” WHINER! I hate you.
9. Women who’s boyfriends or husbands give them flowers are whiners. Here’s why. I buy my wife flowers and it’s all great. I mean, who doesn’t want to spend $75 on a bundle of potpourri smelling self-germinating vagina’s? Well, haha. I certainly do! But the thing is, flowers have a tenancy to die. Technically, they’re dead when you get them, but have a magical ability of looking fresh and pretty for a period of time. And then the fateful day comes and the flowers are sagging and pedals are laying on the kitchen table. Ah, the rot is starting to set in, and that one-time lovely fragrance is turning into the equivalent of smelling like my dog’s piss. And as a stark contrast from the day I presented my better half with flowers and it was like she won the lottery, she now whines because they’re dying a slow, rotten and smelly death. And then you get to hear about how beautiful they were, in a complete and total whining tone and it makes me want to shoot myself in the head, pick up the pieces of brain and skull which flew all over the wall, put it back on my head and blow it all off again.
10. People who want an iPhone but don’t have one are the worst whiners in the world. I mean, I WANT AN iPHONE BUT NO!OOOO!!!OOO!!! STUPID AT&T HAS THE CONTRACT WITH APPLE AND VERIZON DOESN’T AND I’M STUCK IN THIS FREAKING TWO YEAR CONTRACT SO I CAN’T SWITCH AND MY WIFE IS ON MY PLAN NOW WHICH EXTENDS MY CONTRACT ANOTHER TWO YEARS AND BY THE TIME MY CONTRACT IS OVER, OUR COUNTRY WILL HAVE PROBABLY BEEN BLOWN UP IN A SERIES OF NUCLEAR BLASTS AND THE SHORT TIME I WAS ALIVE AND ON THIS PLANET I COULD HAVE HAD AN IPHONE BUT NOOOOOO AT&T IS THE ONLY CARRIER IN THE UNITED STATES AND IT’S NOT FAIR AND I WANT A DAMN IPHONE AND I HATE EVERYONE WHO HAS ONE BECAUSE I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT!!!

And that concludes my top 10 reasons why American’s are whiners.

On the Fourth of July, only a handful of Americans will pause to commemorate the anniversary of our nation’s independence. I used to think it was a shame, how little attention was paid to our national birthday. But on reflection, I’ve decided it’s good that we not dwell on the people and events that gave rise to this little holiday. First, it’s not politically correct. The “founders” as they are sometimes called, were all men — white men — and crediting white men with anything today just doesn’t wash. Second, a careful examination of that handful of patriots who gathered 224 years ago this week to sign that Declaration of Independence invites too many discomfiting comparisons with today’s political leaders.

Few Americans know that the Declaration was actually drafted by a committee of five: Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, Philip Livingston, Roger Sherman, and of course, Thomas Jefferson. Fewer still know that most of the work on the document was done between June 10 and July 2 (when the Continental Congress actually resolved to declare independence from Great Britain) in a boarding house at the intersection of Market and 7th Streets in Philadelphia. The draft document was so good that when debate ended late on July 4, the larger body made but 86 changes, eliminating 480 words, and leaving 1,337 of the most dramatic words in any political manifesto.

The Declaration is far more than an assertion of freedom or a bill of particulars levied at a tyrant. No other founding document for any nation reflects on “the laws of nature and of nature’s God.” No other proclamation declares that all people are “endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.” No other national manuscript appeals to “the Supreme Judge of the World for the Rectitude of our Intentions.” And no other mechanism of national design or intent places the fate of its founders in the hand of God with words like this: “And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our Sacred Honor.” Good thing they weren’t writing this stuff in a public school!

In an era when Fidel Castro and Che Guevara are revered revolutionaries, the 56 who signed the Declaration just don’t cut the mustard. They were all men of means, well educated and wealthy by the standards of the day. Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists; 11 were successful merchants and traders; 9, like Jefferson, were prosperous farmers. Nine of them would die before the war was over; 5 were captured and tortured by the British and 12 had their homes looted and destroyed.

Neither John Morton of Pennsylvania nor Button Gwinnett, the signer from Georgia, would live to see the first anniversary of their signatures. Philip Livingston, the merchant from Albany, New York who served on Jefferson’s drafting committee, was dead before the second anniversary. Thomas Lynch, a farmer from South Carolina died of wounds received in a 1797 naval engagement.

Carter Braxton, a wealthy trader from Virginia saw his armada of trading vessels swept from the seas in battle. To pay his debts, he sold all that he owned and died in rags in 1797.

Thomas McKean, a lawyer from Delaware, served without pay as a member of the Continental Congress. The British forced him to flee with his impoverished family five times during the war. When he died in 1817, his sons had to take up a collection from their neighbors to pay for his funeral.

Thomas Nelson of Yorktown, Virginia borrowed 2 million dollars to provision the French Fleet that would eventually come to our aid. After the war he liquidated his entire estate to pay back the money he borrowed because the Congress refused to reimburse him. He died penniless in 1789.

John Hart, a New Jersey farmer was driven from his wife’s sickbed by a British patrol and lived on the run for more than a year. Upon learning that his beloved wife was failing, he took the terrible chance of returning home to find her dead and his children gone. When he died a few weeks later, on May 11, 1779, his friends said it was of a broken heart.

John Hancock, the merchant from Quincy, Massachusetts, claimed that his bold signature would allow King George to read it without spectacles. When the British burned the port that made him rich, Hancock was reported to have said: “Burn, Boston, though it makes John Hancock a beggar, burn!”

All 56 signers were hunted, hounded and declared criminals. All were indicted, tried in absentia for treason, and all were convicted and condemned. Yet, despite all they endured, not one man broke his pledge.